Disorder in the court

These offerings are from a book called “Disorder in the Court.” They are word-for-word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
___________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
 sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, very close to your IQ.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
______________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a
new attorney?
______________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
 to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school 
did you attend?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you 
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
 nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
 practising law.

Could this last comment be a reference to Canadian lawyer, Jim Heller? I recon it could. :-))

heller

LIEberals and the Conservative disease

abbottlieberalSome aspects of Australian society are arse-about-face. For example, the conservatives call themselves the Liberal Party, but their is nothing ‘liberal’ about their philosophy. I call them the LIEberals. They pretend that ‘Trickle Down’ economics actually works. Prime minister Turnbull has a “plan” to trickle down “jobs and growth.”

The plan involves giving $50 billion of tax payers money to corporations and banks. Much of it will end up in the bank accounts of foreign investors. At best, it is forecast to deliver 1% growth and very few jobs. The $50 billion tax giveaway will have to be funded by cuts in government spending and sales of assets such as Medicare. Turnbull claims that Medicare will never be sold. He’s lying!                                                                                   13494969_10154336012096789_1067988822767018753_n

 

 

 

 

 

The July 2016 election is over and the LIEberal have been returned to government with a volatile senate and a lower house majority of only one. The senate will probably block many of the Lieberal’s most damaging initiatives.

Australia’s geographical isolation could be the nation’s greatest advantage. U.S. Doco film maker, Michael Moore, predicts that Donald Trump – “This wretched, ignorant, dangerous part-time clown and full-time sociopath is going to be our next (US) president.” Let’s hope that distance gives Australia some degree of protection.

http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/movies/michael-moore-announces-donald-trump-will-be-president-20160724-gqckup.html